I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
