i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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