That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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