fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
