32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i think i have two assholes
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
