how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize