wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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