Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
