dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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