Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
