Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
