Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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