escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
