Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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