where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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