yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
