Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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