have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
