Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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