i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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