She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
