He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
