I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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