i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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