people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
