I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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