singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
