I need help removing her.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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