one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My dick has a subreddit
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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