oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
