I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
