so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize