Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
