More tranny stories later!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize