i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
