went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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