Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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