Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
