I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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