one two three fourrrrnication!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
