Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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