I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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