Just cropdusted the office
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
