tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
