My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
