found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
