just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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