oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
