Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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