Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
