when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
