now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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