There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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