Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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