Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
