dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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