i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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