No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
