dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
